Insensitive Co-worker
Dealing with Racial Remarks
By Daniel Muniz

Many years ago when I worked at a small non-profit educational organization, a co-worker of mine stepped into the executive director’s office to talk about something unrelated to work. In addition to being a smart capable manager with a highly developed acumen for business, my boss also had a master’s degree in clinical psychology. In fact, he briefly taught psychology at the university I graduated from. Consequently, it was natural for certain employees to seek out my boss’s viewpoint and opinions on personal matters.

At that particular occasion, my co-worker wanted to vent about a family issue.

Her grandparents on her mother’s side of the family were quite elderly and since my co-worker was their only surviving family member alive (her mother was their only child and she was the only child from her), she maintained a very close relationship with them (her mother passed away when she was a child and in adulthood she became estranged from her father). As a result, she assisted them whenever possible.

The problem was that she was incensed about a number of very rare coins that her grandfather had been collecting for decades. Part of this valuable coin collection had mysteriously disappeared from his house and a thorough search of the premises turned up nothing. So shortly after the coins had vanished, my co-worker called the cops about the theft and she even wrote a letter to the chief of police detailing the crime.
 

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Long story short, she suspected that the maid stole them but got nowhere with that accusation even after the police investigated the apparent burglary.

So while sitting in my boss’s office, my co-worker explained her rationale to him about why it had to be the maid who stole the rare coins. After all, this woman was born in Mexico and she had lived there in her youth. And since Mexicans have always lived under corrupt governments for so long, stealing must come natural to them.

The boss firmly but very politely dismissed that assertion by saying that stealing and other bad behavior is solely a character issue instead of an attribute belonging to an ethnicity. And even if the maid did filch it, that was a shortcoming of the individual.

My co-worker didn’t buy that explanation so she eventually left his office as disgruntled as she had stepped in it.

Later in the afternoon when I my co-worker had left for the day, I walked into my boss’s office. I told him that I knew exactly why his teenage son was always in trouble with the law and why he was constantly ending up in jail. That was really a sore subject with the director because regardless of his amazing education credentials and all of his outstanding civic accomplishments (he was always the chairman of some kind of committee for events in the city) his son was a problem child who had a lot of run-ins with the law.

My boss had an incredulous look on his face after I had uttered such a bold statement.

I then said that since his son is a Mexican-American and since Mexicans have always lived under corrupt governments for so long, stealing must come natural to him. My boss instantly rose to his feet. His face was livid and his gaping mouth was ready to lash out me. But then his demeanor suddenly changed as he cracked a smile because he immediately understood the absurdity of my challenge. After all, he was a Hispanic just like me while my co-worker was white and very much an old money WASP.

He blurted out, “You heard what I told her. Damn Oh-Niners! They think they know everything.”

We laughed out loud together. 09 are the last two numbers of the zip code of an old money municipality in the heart of San Antonio Texas. Many of the city’s most prominent families (especially the old money types) as well as some of the biggest snobs lived there and my co-worker had all the trappings of a snob.

However, it was easy for my boss and me to dismiss the incident because we weren’t emotionally devastated by it. I have been around people who have said much uglier things in the workplace in previous jobs but I was never shaken by it. And my boss who has worked with so many of the city’s movers and shakers and high rollers that he had quite a few ugly experiences dealing with very unpleasant situations involving prejudice and snobbery.

But what was it that two Hispanics weren’t all that much bothered by such blatant idiocy?

The retired black liberal newspaper columnist William Raspberry once pondered why so many blacks are emotionally devastated when they encounter racism but that most white people are not impacted in the same way when encounter reverse discrimination. Raspberry felt that the answer was self-esteem.

I personally feel that Raspberry’s assertion is correct.

There are plenty of Hispanics that I personally know who have such a tough time handling even the smallest slights. They feel that we are living in a cruel and terrible country filled with social injustice.

I don’t see it that way.

This nation has gone through monumental social and cultural changes. There is more freedom and opportunity today than the time that when my parents were children. And today my children are growing up in such a radically different society.

I do not disagree that racism still exists but the way I see it is that there has always been stupid people in the world and I think that there will always be stupid people in our future. I just don’t see our civilization achieving a type of Utopian perfection because of the imperfection of the human race. It is kind of like hoping for world peace; it is just not going to happen. That doesn’t mean that we should stop working for world peace but that we should be realistic to realize that it cannot be accomplished. The same goes for eradicating racism.

We can be adults and be mature enough to understand that we live in an imperfect world. As a Hispanic, I am proud of my heritage and I will not be distraught by incidents like this because there are plenty of amazing white people around who value the content of your character over the color of your skin (my wife is one of them and so are the spouses of my brother and sister).

As for my former co-worker, the coin collection was eventually found. It had fallen behind some furniture.

And even after that incident, I had never once thought of my co-worker as bigot. She was misinformed about something (perhaps all of us are in one way or another) and that was really the extent of it. She never mistreated me in the time I worked there (she even baked a cake for my birthday). Of course she had her moments but we all do.

Other Hispanics may have had a difficult time handling that same situation but I didn’t. I attribute it to my self-esteem and a personal understanding that this world is never going to be perfect (just as I am not perfect) and I would be foolish to have such unrealistic expectations. Even so, I will continue to do my part to make this world a better place to live in.

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