Anthropomorphic Idiocy
Hollywood Really Outdoes Itself
By D.W.

Attention… Attention: a high priority safety message from the source of all wisdom and knowledge known as Hollywood. White men no longer have a monopoly on the serial killer business. Now wild animals can also become serial killers too!

Yes, one day little scruffy may actually snuff you out when you are sleeping; thank God for Hollywood!

The Hollywood thriller Primeval is a movie about one of the most prolific serial killers in history. Who is this evil menace terrorizing the human race?

He is a legendary 25-foot African crocodile known as Gustave, who actually exists in South Africa. He has claimed over 300 victims and is still at large to this day. The film Primeval features a news team who is tasked with tracking down and capturing this deadly villain and bringing him to civilization; and to justice no doubt. Of course who else would you send to capture a vicious murdering psycho path but a band of journalists because we all know how noble and courageous reporters are?

However, their suspect proves far more elusive and deadlier than they anticipated from those rascally crocodiles. And to complicate matters further a rogue warlord who actually murders people in cold blood targets them for death. Yes, now African warlords are the moral equivalent of crocodiles.
 

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What would the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, have thought about this movie?

I would suspect that he would have been flabbergasted to find out that crocodiles are now serial killers despite everything he had worked hard for. If only the wonderful wizards of Hollywood would have informed him earlier.

Let’s think about this for a moment: wild carnivorous crocodile = Ted Bundy and Jeffery Dahmer?

The definition of a serial killer is as follows:

Serial killers are individuals who have a history of multiple slayings of victims who were generally unknown to them beforehand. Their crimes are committed as a result of a compulsion that, in many but not all cases, has roots in the killer's (often dysfunctional) youth, as opposed to those who are motivated by financial gain (e.g. contract killers) or ideological/political motivations (e.g. terrorists).

Source: wikpedia.com

Considering the definition presented here, can we infer that crocodiles have a dysfunctional childhood?

Do crocodiles know their victims beforehand and plan their murders out ahead of time? Do crocodiles have a secret life that scientist know nothing about? Perhaps we can conduct genetic tests to determine if a certain crocodile is predisposed to random violence?

This movie highlights the sheer idiocy of the Hollywood crowd who hold nothing sacred, especially not the truth.

Crocodiles are wild carnivorous animals; all of them, not just some.

By wild I mean that they cannot be tamed and can never be. They will do what is in their nature to do, despite any training they may receive. And crocodiles are carnivorous because they only eat meat and nothing else. Carnivorous animals kill other living animals and eat them. That is how they survive. Why is this so hard for these Hollywood loons, who speak so authoritatively about science, to grasp?

What I am going to say now will be a real shocker to all of the Hollywood insiders out there. To a wild carnivorous crocodile, a human being is just a piece of meat. You may not taste better than a nice juicy antelope, but at least a crocodile in Africa thinks you might be yummy.

This movie is just the tip of the anthropomorphic iceberg.

Hollywood producers have been trying to turn animals into people for years. I shouldn’t need to go into great depth to exemplify this, but I suppose I will. The movie Happy Feet portrays penguins as people with much better musical skills so that viewers will become sympathetic to conservation causes in the artic regions. Plenty of movies about barnyard animals acting like people when humans aren’t looking are great ways to advance the vegetarian agenda. Why would you eat a motorcycle riding cow?

Now maybe the movie producers are just using the serial killer spin to make the film sound more appealing to a perspective audience. This is still a bad idea because there are plenty of idiots out there who may actually think that wild animals can become serial killers. Wildlife conservation efforts require an accurately informed public to garner support for programs that actually work. That is what Steve Irwin dedicated his life to doing with great effect. He showed us that even ferocious beasts were just animals like any other wild animal trying to survive.

Let’s start using some talk straight about wildlife and then maybe we can save them.

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